2020-10-31 – Slowly Getting Back to Biz

[foxint@foxint.com.au]

Hi Guys

It is a strange world especially was we all face a common threat: the Corona Virus. Again, my apologies for the long time between Newsletters.

A lot and nothing has happened.

Pre-Corona, I ordered some parts and was told by my wife of 17 years on my birthday that she was leaving me. Almost 12 months have passed, I finally got the parts, my wife has moved out with the bloke she was cheating on me with since mid-2019. She took 1 of my 3 daughters so she does not appear, too devoid of morals and common decency.

Now the long journey to rebuild the watch company and my life.

I know it has happened to many men – rebuilding a company and rebuilding a life – but it can never take away the pain and suffering one endures.

Soon the legal battle will begin, as the initial “friendly” discussions about property and moving forward have become far more emotionally embedded.

It has been a road of discovery. As confirmed by my psychiatrist and a long-term friend – my wife most possibly has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. My dead father was a narcissist and there was no negotiations or common ground with him. I understand there is a saying: you marry your mother or your father. Shit! I think I married my father.

After some hard discussions with lawyers and my psychiatrist, we came to some interesting conclusions:
• Female lawyers have a predisposition to favour females;
• Male lawyers have a predisposition to favour males; and
• Gay-male lawyers also can have a predisposition to favour the female.

This did fit with my experience with a local female lawyer who gave vanilla advice and did not appear that she was giving it her all.

As you know I am not your average sport loving beer drinking normal male. I think you may agree I identify more with Mr Spock from Star Trek.

I am an autistic stay at home Dad, primary care giver to my 3 daughters, has facilitated a wife to grow her career, and the creator of OWC watches. I brought in significant assets into the marriage including providing a debt-free home from my Mum’s inheritance.

What is becoming obvious to me is: if I had tits and a vagina, and did the same thing, I would keep what was mine and get all that belonged to my spouse. But I have that 2 problems I have a dick and I married a female narcissist, so I get Donald Ducked.

On a positive note, I am now a free and will be a poorer man. I sold my Toyota Camry and bought a 31-year-old Mercedes Benz 190E 2.6 called Bruce. Bruce has spent too much time at the beach and has a few issues. He is great therapy and embodies the car I WANT, not the car “people” think I should have. The girls love Bruce and gave him the name Bruce Lee Benz – Bruce for short. Bruce and Shelia are great Aussie names.

The parts finally arrived, and we have made up 10 MS-9411-GD-Specials. Remember from pre-Corona, this is the watch with the new Chronometre grade movement. 2 have already gone and I will be offering the others at USD1,685 including shipping and goodies.

Also, will be making a few WT-1884’s again with the new movement.

I am reminded of the poem by Robert (Robbie) Burns the famous Scot

To a Mouse

The best laid schemes o’ Mice an’ Men
Gang aft agley,
An’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain,
For promis’d joy!

Or perhaps you are more familiar with the struggles of migrant works during the Great Depression, as penned my John Steinbeck in his 1937 novella “Of Mice and Men”. In the vernacular of popular culture: life can suck.

As for movements offered now and, in the future, I will continue to offer the very excellent and misunderstood Seagull 2892-A2 (ST-1812) and the SW300-1 Elaborate Top Regulation.

As for the elephant in the room, the Soprod A-10. This has been an excellent movement and one that I have been very fond of. It offered an excellent Seiko design and a refreshing take on the monopoly of the Swiss.

As a small maker our supply lines can make or break us. Suppliers can and do dictate volumes and we must modify our expectations to get supply. OWC was an early adopter of the Soprod A-10 and had to by (for us) a shit load of movements. Yes, set for life…ha-ha.

Soprod sent the A-10-1 (but this will not be verified by Soprod) the good early movements that had escapements made by Seiko. Soprod then introduced the A-10-2 and after that the M100.

Our best guess is that somewhere in the early A-10-2 or even late A-10-1 Seiko stopped supplying escapements to Soprod and they made their own. This was not a good move and watch companies stopped using Soprod movements. Soprod were never transparent regarding this move.

Whatever watches I have in stock with Soprod A-10 movements we will sell, but no new watches will be made with any of our remaining A-10 movements. It has been a hard decision, but one made with quality and reliability as the criteria.

I have had a little stumble, a pandemic, and a cheating wife, but I am trying to accept this and move forward as best I can, albeit a little angry and sad.

Met vriendelijke groeten / With best regards
Daan/Dan
foxint@foxint.com.au

(OWC continues to revise and evolve its designs, parts, production methods and pricing to reflect current conditions. OWC reserves the right to change specifications and pricing without notice.)

[binbin]

Wow Dan,

I'm so sorry to hear this, but I'm glad you are sharing with the group. These types of stories are not too uncommon. The more that become public, the more the younger guys can learn from the older guys mistakes.

My co-workers have all said I am the smartest one in the bunch. I have never married. I've watched a lot of them go through this and it is almost the same story every time.

There is an interesting youtube channel called Better Bachelor that I started watching after catching one of my co-workers watching it. It's interesting to say the least. I've actually learned a few things off this channel.

I also noticed some of the things he says are starting to happen in the real world. I like the one where women are starting to realize their clock is up and they complain there are no nice guys left to marry.

I've had women approach me and ask why a nice guy like myself is not married? You seem to being doing very well for yourself? (.....and I'd like to keep it that way....lol). My first question, what are you bringing to the table? Usually ends right there.

Dan, I hope the best for you. Hard to see it now, but I'm sure you will look back at this and be happy it happened. Advice? Focus on yourself. Do things to improve you. Get active, some type of exercise everyday...even if it is a short walk. Something for the brain, be curious learn, listen, read. Time for yourself.....watch hobby seems to fit perfect here.

It's not a fair world yet. Women want to be equal, well gradually and slowly this will happen. They will not be happy when the courts are fair to both parties.

[Emilio]

Women are not equal, period. Never will be. It's part of our biology and it's embedded in our brains. Which is good since sex would be a bit weird (I'm thinking about snails)

Don't get me wrong, some of them are hard as nails and self-sufficient while caring, loving and being honest with all the loved ones.

Binbin has a point there, guys should be told how to identify gold diggers (or sociopaths, narcissists, etc) at a young age. Just to give boys a fair head start.

Some might think this I said is sexist but fighting for women rights is not the same as fighting for them to get the kids, house, car, life, blood, ... "I want all of the good but none of the bad of being a woman" it's not caring for equality.

And young men should realize this or at least discuss it before thinking about marriage.

Fortunately, you have your girls and that's the most precious thing a father could have.

Take care and have a nice weekend.

[foxint@foxint.com.au]

2021-05-30
Hi Guys,

My apologies for the deafening silence.

My battle with my narcissistic wife continues. She continues to bribe the girls with clothes dinners, lunches, Foxtel, Netflix Nintendo Switch, X-box, Spotify Premium etc... She now has 2 out of the 3 girls.

She is giving the girls “conditional” love, and this is not right for a parent. I know my middle girl, who is on the spectrum, is scared to leave her mothers place fearing the withdrawal of that love.

Looking back on the many years in Orange and it is clear to me she had been planning this calmly and carefully for many years. She continues to isolate me from the girls. As my lawyer says: when she is finished using the children for monetary gain, she will dump them – I agree.

I have been in hospital with a bulging disc at L5 S4 (I think). Got the CT scan and the MRI and confirmed that things down there are not good. I am in pain 24/7, take pain killers like they are sweets and wake up at 3am in agony.

But I am under the care of a Physiotherapist and things will get better. I can now go all night with out taking a pill at 3am, albeit I do wake up at that time. I still wake in pain and with numbness on my right side.

Watches are slow. We have some stock and making to order. The pandemic is hurting us all and I send you all the karma I have left.

The Australian Government led by an uncaring Pentecostal, is treating everyone not of his faith as collateral damage. He has no compassion and his most recent act of racism, is to leave our Indian-Australians stranded in India. In the last 2 weeks they have manage to stop all news about these poor people.

As I am now realising, I am a narcissistic enabler, empathic and giving guy who has got screwed by a predatory uncaring narcissist. As I am a son of a narcissistic Father, living and sucking up to my wife (Happy Wife Happy Life) was normal. But no more.

When this is over, I will move away from Orange (as I sunk all my money and all my Mothers inheritance into the family home), as I will have to find a cheaper place (as Orange is expensive and she will take at least 50% of my money), as I will of course have bedrooms for my 3 girls.

This reminds me of the Joke: (Context – Lang Hancock was a mining billionaire, and he married a much younger woman who was the family maid called Rose). Rose has written a book called: “How to make millions with only 1 c*nt working for you.

Please drop me a line. I know I do not deserve it, but it would be nice to say G ’day.

Groeten/regards
Daan/Dan

[daevildog]

If feel your pain, L4-L5 in my case. Daily numbness, tingling and burning in my R lower extremity to remind me I am alive. Downward flexion of lower back at my gym and other flexibilty/stretching exercises help realign and diminish symptoms. You might need to consider back surgery sooner , versus later. I plan to wait another 5-10 years of misery ttil i get surgery .

We all carry baggage, a product of our varied upbringing. I try to do better with the help of a professional... Seems like you are doing the right things - professional help and a support system.

I tell me patients, life doesn't get easier with age... it gets harder. Just have to get better at being a good human and coping.

Try to stay strong for the sake of your kids. You are not alone, you know, Iam around, if you need to commiserate.

I hr at a time, one day at a time, one week at a time....

[foxint@foxint.com.au]

Hi mate,

Thank you. Nice to make contact. How easily the days turn into weeks and the weeks into months….

I had surgery in 2004 and that helped. So perhaps it is a 17-year thing…ha-ha.

I took some pain killers and spent a happy hour or so pressure washing 8 alloy wheels. Next, I will get some wheel cleaner to clean the remainder of the dirt. I cannot tell you have satisfied I feel. I am wet and sore, but boy was it relaxing. The simple things, without my wife.

Thank you.

[Ciccio]

Hey man,

We don’t know each other but I do know the anguish of going through a divorce with a narcissistic ex who tried to alienate my children from me. There are lots of resources out there for strategies on how to deal with these people and how to heal. One great one that’s been a great help to me is the Dads surviving divorce YouTube channel. The guy who runs it, Duane, has been to hell and back and has some great insights.

I can tell you nearly 6 years removed from my split and now very happily remarried to a wonderful woman that the recovery from the narcissistic ex even still now continues for me. That being said it’s much better than it ever was, and a big game changer for me was finding the many many resources out there for surviving narcissistic abuse.

Stay strong, it gets better.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[TimemiT]

I've been divorced since 2011, she wasn't narcissistic, she was much younger, immature and our intellect and interests grew way way apart. But I did suffer because I thought I would never get divorced and lose my house. To this day, I am a bit bitter, I have not been able to have a long lasting relationship because my trust level is low and my comfort level is very very high right now, and I can buy all the watches I want! I have never talked to her since and really don't care to. I was a bit luckier in that I had no children with her. What I can say is that having a close group of friends really helped ... the saying goes "men suffer in silence" is true. Women get together and air out all their shit, plus they probably sit around and advise each other in times of divorce. Men, we keep that shit inside. So, it does help to air it out with guy friends or even if it's on a forum like this. We sometimes fear too much airing our laundry, or even just the idea that we are bothering other guys with our personal shit. That shouldn't be the case ... don't keep it locked up, because it festers and slowly eats away at you mentally and emotionally. This then spills over into your children. The focus is to keep yourself active and occupied. AND ... never ever be or act in any violent or aggressive way around her or on the phone ... do not give her the ammunition that she may use against you in court or with the authorities. You have to remain cool as a cucumber at all times, even if your basic instincts are boiling. The less you see of her, the better. Also, never be the bad guy in front of your kids ... be the good guy and try to repair the damage she is doing to them by using them against you. Raising children during a divorce is the hardest job especially when one of the parents decides to make it toxic. It is so critical to keep them distracted and entertained so that they don't grow up to be damaged adults, which then can go one to be even a greater problem for you to constantly be caring for damaged adult kids. Be strong for yourself and be the "good guy" example for your kids, they will know what is what as they get older.

[Piloten]

Very late to the table.
Dan, I hope you realize, the only thing you did was try to do the right thing.
Like @binbin I have never been married. In my case it's who'd put up with me and that suits me fine, so I have no advice, only to ask you to recognize the above.
We are here.
-J